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She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders, by Jennifer Finney Boylan
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Review
“She’s Not There, the Running with Scissors of sex-change stories, brings irreverence and a merrily outrageous sense of humor to this potentially serious business.” —Janet Maslin, New York Times“Beautifully crafted, fearless, painfully honest, inspiring, and extremely witty. Jennifer Finney Boylan is an exquisite writer with a fascinating story, and this combination has resulted in one of the most remarkable, moving, and unforgettable memoirs in recent history.” —Augusten Burroughs, author of Running with Scissors and Dry
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About the Author
JENNIFER FINNEY BOYLAN, author of fourteen books, is the inaugural Anna Quindlen Writer in Residence at Barnard College of Columbia University in the City of New York and is Special Advisor to the president of Colby College in Maine. She has been a contributor to the Op-Ed page of the New York Times since 2007; in 2013 she became Contributing Opinion Writer for the page. Jenny also serves on the Board of Trustees of the Kinsey Institute for Research on Sex, Gender, and Reproduction. She is the national co-chair of the Board of Directors of GLAAD, the media advocacy group for LGBT people worldwide, and serves as a consultant to several television series. A novelist, memoirist, and short-story writer, she is also a nationally known advocate for civil rights. Jenny has appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show on four occasions; Live with Larry King twice; the Today show; the Barbara Walters Special; and NPR's Marketplace and Talk of the Nation. She has also been the subject of documentaries on CBS News' 48 Hours and The History Channel. She lives in New York City and in Belgrade Lakes, Maine, with her wife, Deedie, and her two sons, Zach and Sean.
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Product details
Paperback: 352 pages
Publisher: Broadway Books; Reprint edition (April 30, 2013)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9780385346979
ISBN-13: 978-0385346979
ASIN: 0385346972
Product Dimensions:
5.2 x 0.7 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
316 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#98,936 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Interesting story that helped me understand transgendered issues just a little better. Great to see the author make a successful transition . Apparently she has remained in her family with her wife and children. God Bless them and all who are "different" and have to struggle.
If you are considering purchase of this book, or reading this review in the first place, there is a high probability that you are transgender, a friend or family member of someone who is transgender, or an LGBTQ ally. I can sum up the importance of this book in one short sentence: "It is our story". In the details, of course it's Jenny's story, but there are so many themes in this book that reflect experiences that are common to all of us in the transgender community, that anyone who is trans or related to a trans person will see themselves reflected in these pages as in a mirror. Jenny Boylan is a professor of English at Colby College in Maine, and has published both fiction and non-fiction works. Her writing style is enjoyable, easy to read, and inclusive. You will be drawn into her story as if she were telling it at a campfire and you are being invited to pull up a camp chair and share it with her. If you are indeed trans, I suggest you have a box of tissues handy as you read. Parts of this story are so emotional that you will be crying unless you have a heart made of ice. At other points, you will be laughing, as Jenny relates stories involving some of the crazy things she has done, or witnessed while visiting her often times zany grandmother, Gammie. This book will put you on an emotional roller-coaster, so make sure your seatbelt is properly fastened, and your tray table is in the fully upright and locked position, because you are in for a sometimes sad, other times happy, but always wonderful ride. The ending of this autobiography happens in 2002, and leaves quite a few unanswered questions as to what might have happened to various people in the years between then and now. Jenny has written two sequels to "She's Not There": one that covers her childhood in greater detail, "I'm Looking Through You", and "Stuck in the Middle With You", which picks up her story after the events in "She's Not There".
i just finished this book, purchased in spite of all the reviews that mentioned how poor 'Grace' was underrepresented. actually, i bought it in part because of those.i enjoyed the book, and i might have learned a few things. i enjoyed the writing, and the description of what it is like to be this particular 'other'. the author and her bestie discuss what identity is in terms of choosing who to present as. but my experience has been more like discovering what i am - not who. self is known; the details are murky. i appreciate fine writing that shows the struggle, the confusion, the weirdness of it all in a society that is very very sure that identity is static, and of course is very very wrong.as for the attitude / altitude in the book, i have that optimism as well. it stays there, enhancing my emotional baseline, always. i'm not trans, but i am a lesbian, and my husband left me for a straight woman, and .... i had stayed, for years. i would have stayed forever [ even now, 9 years later]. so i understand jenny's staying part, and maybe a small part of a possible not staying part, and perhaps some of 'grace's staying part, and a lot of the 'buoyancy' part.it seems very clear that 'grace' and jenny have a really good marriage, a close, positive marriage, and so it's not surprising that she acted as she did. she suffered, she lived, she managed; what most of us do in our dramas, large and small. she was inclined that way. i do believe that women tend to stay, while men leave, for very complex reasons. while i appreciated her words, i'm sad that 'grace' felt she should write her response because of all the shouting and 'not fair's ostensibly on her behalf.trans and the rest of the queer rainbow have never, ever been all that weird to me. i am just lucky, that way, i guess. i never struggled with that part of my identity, but it is obvious that some people do. but the weirdest thing to me is that strangers struggle - and argue with - someone else's identity. and i don't mean when someone is in the closet. i mean a stated, struggled for identity, and here are friends, family, colleagues, etc., proclaiming that it's not so because they don't believe it or haven't felt it, or whatever denial mechanism they feel they need. i don't believe in jesus, but it's abundantly clear that many people do, why argue? but i guess that's what makes this a book, and not a moment.it's a well-written book. i like how it dances thru time, i like the buoyancy. i like the afterword by jenny's friend. i love how it all comes together.
I read this book when I was employed full time as a counselor; now, over a decade later, I still give this gook to friends who want to learn more about transpeople. I know of no other Memoir which is so compelling that you would read it in a single sitting if you could---except maybe Frank McCourt's "Angela's Ashes." In fact, there are similarities between the two styles: great humor (including the ability to laugh at oneself) which does not preclude the writers' abilities to document great sorrows, timeliness---the sense of emerging in a culture not primed to understand some of the issues, and just good writing. The book sings. Especially poignant is the chapter about a faculty exchange with University College Cork when all the pub songs about emigration resonated: leaving a place you know, leaving your sweetheart, headed for a destination one hopes will somehow be better, anticipation, soft terror. This book was a landmark for the trans community and it ought to be heralded for the human community as we are all in this business of loving and living together. And Richard Russo's Afterward is a bonus.
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